Spiritual Bypassing...You can't run away from your Self...

Continuing with our meditation theme since we will be having a free Meditation Gathering at Center of Symmetry this coming Tuesday, and every Tuesday thereafter.

Jack Engler reveals the point of convergence between Psychology and Buddhism is the notion “that all psychological growth comes about by being able to renounce outworn, infantile ties to objects and to give up or modify self-representations that have restrictive, maladaptive, or outgrown.” One might then assume that the wise elders of Eastern spiritual traditions would have mastered the process of purging those “outworn” aspects of oneself, with a positive reverence for the renewal and growth that will arrive in its absence. The key word is “assume.” It is an absolute assumption that spiritual leaders and practitioners, who have reached a status within the spiritual community, are completely in touch with their emotions and motives at all times. Attachment to this idea of perfection in spiritual practice can lead a person into bypassing their earthen experience by immersing their self in a completely spiritual domain, for which there may be some consequence.

In fact, as John Wellwood points out, one can be doing good work in many aspects of their spiritual growth and yet use spiritual practice to avoid certain issues that they do not wish to address; he refers to this phenomenon as Spiritual Bypassing. The desire to transcend one’s earthly life, even in the name of enlightenment or ascension, can be nothing more than the next prison if one’s issues are still lurking within. Being diligent in one’s spiritual practice as a means to run away from the experience and lessons of life reflects the three poisons in Buddhism: grasping, rejecting, and ignoring. The each of the three poisons separately leads to illusion and suffering, but combined are an insidious state of being. Though one may be diligent in one’s spiritual practice through meditation, chanting, mindfulness of one’s thoughts and actions, it is still ultimately possible to grasp tightly to the idea of what an enlightened being should be like, then reject an unwholesome aspect of our self that does not comply with that ideal, and ignore that it had ever made itself known. What is happening here is not a large thought process; it can happen in the passing of a single dharma.

The issue here may partially be attributed to the archaic idea that “unwholesome” is equated with “bad.” Whether on the psychological front or in the spiritual realm, being out of alignment with your own ideals causes cognitive dissonance. If one did not realize that their anger had such a deep seed as to still be firmly rooted after years of therapy or mindfulness, then its manifestation will cause a sense of “But I identify myself this particular way, and so you cannot be a part of me. Your manifestation of unwholesomeness is bad for my goal of wellness or enlightenment.” Through the rejection of an unwholesome part of oneself, there is a rejection of learning, growth, and internal communication. If one could open to the possibility of “pain and neuroses contain[ing] their own color and hav[ing] their own strange beauty” as Wellwood sees it, one’s spiritual practice would become more fruitful and wholesome through embracing, honoring, and integrating the aspects of ourselves whose voice we’ve stolen by employing the three poisons.

If one could also recognize Engler’s idea of the constructed self, it may be possible to see the value that our relative experience has when cultivating no-self. To know no-self, one must first understand what we are deeming as self, and since self is constructed by one’s constant encounter with objects in the world, one must address those objects and any responses that also arise toward those objects in order to seek wellness and absolute wisdom. To bypass this aspect of our self would be to bypass wisdom, creating illusion, and ultimately leading to suffering though we have been diligent in our dedication to our spiritual practice.

The Drunken Monkey

     In Tantric Buddhism, every state of being is workable and every moment is an opening for practice, even the seemingly irreverent moments. Sometimes I imagine that my mind is a drunken monkey just stumbling around, hiccupping, and breaking things while drinking out of a moonshine jug. The closer it comes to the end of the year, the harder it becomes to focus on anything. The monkey in my mind just seems to get increasingly drunk, increasingly agitated rather than mellowed by his imbibing, and more adamant in its need for my attention. When tending to the drunken monkey of one’s mind, it takes a lot of focus and energy away from more productive endeavors. So, this week has been about sobering up my drunken monkey and trying to teach it to be self sufficient once sober.

     Sitting in meditation, the realization that the end of the year is so near seemed to grab me by the throat and choke me a little. Every turning of a season elicits the same response: fear, excitement, a sense of dread, and just a little panic while exploring some joyful anticipation of what's to come. Trying to meditate around those issues when my drunken monkey keeps sloshing around, waving its arms and trying to signal to me that there are so many other things I should be doing with this time, is a bit challenging. Trying to bring my focus back to the breath wasn’t working, so I started using visualizations that would alleviate the cause of my anxiety over time and aid me in accomplishing my work. If a thought or visual of me being frazzled and not accomplishing a task cropped up, I simply replaced it with the visual of my productivity and accomplishment. If a notion and vision of utter calamity or catastrophe popped up, I would go through the worst case scenario and realize that even the worst was still not quite so “bad,” then move on.

     Once I could get to place of rational understanding, it would become apparent that I would be able to survive even the worst case fallable, clumsy human scenario. However, I will admit that I am still attached to the idea of succeeding in my many endeavors. I’m not sure I want to challenge that attachment too vigorously just yet; that is one aspect of my mind I choose not to experiment with for now. I just want to voice that in my own mind, and in front of all of you, in case my Buddha nature happens to be listening and feeling playful.