The good, the bad, & the ugly...eh, it's all "good" in the end.

In Initiation, Chogyam Trungpa uses the example of an art collector appraising the value of a painting based on the name of its creator, rather than by the aesthetic merit of the piece before them, to demonstrate how an individual’s desire to be initiated into an elite group may transform the potential for development of wisdom into the mimicking of one’s perception of that group’s principles. Had the art collector appraised the value of the painting based on aesthetic components or artistic merit, it would have presented an opportunity for the collector to hone and development their skills of observation and attention to detail. In contrast, the collector chose to base their decision on the popularity of a name which demonstrates a need to be identified with the greatness that others have bestowed upon that name, rather than with the raw beauty and presence of the artwork before them. Trungpa shares that this need to be aligned with “the best,” ever-present in the process of seeking spiritual guidance, is an attempt to and perpetuation of aligning oneself with ideas of “right” and “good.” This approach of participating in a dichotomous relationship to our world and selves actually strengthens one’s ego identity and may stifle spiritual growth which, ironically, is what most individuals are seeking to avoid by searching for “the best,” “the right,” and “the good.”

Trungpa continues to cast light on this idea by casting light on the element of self-deception that is present in such an approach to one’s world. He asserts that self-deception occurs because a person can be so concerned with what they are going to get that they ignore (one of the three poisons) what is actually occurring. He offers the idea of authentic initiation through being truthful in the presentation of oneself to a spiritual community and accepting them as they are also. Authentic initiation, or “meeting of the minds,” cannot occur if we are false in approach and if we are unaware of any grasping that may be present. To aid in the release of grasping tendencies, Trungpa suggests mirroring one’s grasping behavior for them to present what may not have been conscious actions and choices. Once revealed and then recognized, these behaviors will no longer be able to mask themselves. In the Hard Way, Trungpa postulates that to truly be open and achieve authentic presence, one must release the desire to preserve one’s own existence.

In the Open Way, Trungpa reiterates the importance of experiencing self-deception, exactly as it is, in order to completely expose ourselves. Those who hesitate to embrace this “darker” or messier side of them should make note of still grasping to false ideals of what the spiritual path is like. In trying to appear neat, tidy, or perfect in the face of one’s relative experience, clings to an illusion, ignores the teachings, and snubs a monumental chance for growth and revelation of truth. Trungpa states that this struggle is irrelevant because it is ego and once a person is able to give up that struggle, there will be no one left to struggle with; the ego will be gone. John Welwood reminds the reader that our basic openness “allows us to be intelligently tuned to life and grateful for the wonder of existence, it is the basis of sanity and well-being.”

Meditations on Randomness

I swear i will start writing about other forms of expression, just as soon i get this out of my system...

     Jack Engler asserts that self is “evolving developmentally out of our experience of objects and the kinds of interactions we have with them.” I don’t believe you realize just how true this statement is until you are trying to get your mind to be quiet for meditation. First you clear the immediate mind activity thinking, “Okay I have made reference to the large events or issues of the day. I should be able to go back to my breath now with minimal interruption.” Then there is a second tier of not-quite-so-important information that begins to bubble to the surface of your mind, which you acknowledge and then think, “Okay I have made reference to the medium sized events or issues of the day. I should be able to go back to my breath now with minimal interruption.” So on and so forth until you are acknowledging a small purple flower that you may or may not have seen in your periphery at some point in the day, and wondering if that baby you heard crying in the distance has a single or two-parent household and what impact that may have on the infants life in each circumstance. We really do have each of those sense encounters, whether tiny or large, floating around in our awareness. Sometimes it feels like an assault.

     It isn’t always that chaotic, but many times it is. It causes me to wonder how I am possibly registering so many bits of information at one time, and storing that information somewhere. Then, I feel a little angry because I can remember all of these minute things, but then I often have trouble recalling factual, academic information on command. It seems easier for me to recall my experiential memory than any other kind. I know there must be positive aspects to this, but at times it seems to be a nuisance. I can bring myself back to my breath again and again, but I can’t stop wondering if all those little bits of miscellaneous information are helping or hindering my growth on earth. My mind buzzes frequently with seemingly random events; sometimes these events come together in my mind to show synchronicity on earth. That portion of the random information processing gives me hope because it seems to show some sort of connective order in the universe that I don’t always have strong belief in. Other times all that random information just seems to shuffle around like too many decks of playing cards that are missing members of certain suits. Either way, this has been a focus of mine this week, trying to honor the randomness before coming back to my breath.

Spiritual Bypassing...You can't run away from your Self...

Continuing with our meditation theme since we will be having a free Meditation Gathering at Center of Symmetry this coming Tuesday, and every Tuesday thereafter.

Jack Engler reveals the point of convergence between Psychology and Buddhism is the notion “that all psychological growth comes about by being able to renounce outworn, infantile ties to objects and to give up or modify self-representations that have restrictive, maladaptive, or outgrown.” One might then assume that the wise elders of Eastern spiritual traditions would have mastered the process of purging those “outworn” aspects of oneself, with a positive reverence for the renewal and growth that will arrive in its absence. The key word is “assume.” It is an absolute assumption that spiritual leaders and practitioners, who have reached a status within the spiritual community, are completely in touch with their emotions and motives at all times. Attachment to this idea of perfection in spiritual practice can lead a person into bypassing their earthen experience by immersing their self in a completely spiritual domain, for which there may be some consequence.

In fact, as John Wellwood points out, one can be doing good work in many aspects of their spiritual growth and yet use spiritual practice to avoid certain issues that they do not wish to address; he refers to this phenomenon as Spiritual Bypassing. The desire to transcend one’s earthly life, even in the name of enlightenment or ascension, can be nothing more than the next prison if one’s issues are still lurking within. Being diligent in one’s spiritual practice as a means to run away from the experience and lessons of life reflects the three poisons in Buddhism: grasping, rejecting, and ignoring. The each of the three poisons separately leads to illusion and suffering, but combined are an insidious state of being. Though one may be diligent in one’s spiritual practice through meditation, chanting, mindfulness of one’s thoughts and actions, it is still ultimately possible to grasp tightly to the idea of what an enlightened being should be like, then reject an unwholesome aspect of our self that does not comply with that ideal, and ignore that it had ever made itself known. What is happening here is not a large thought process; it can happen in the passing of a single dharma.

The issue here may partially be attributed to the archaic idea that “unwholesome” is equated with “bad.” Whether on the psychological front or in the spiritual realm, being out of alignment with your own ideals causes cognitive dissonance. If one did not realize that their anger had such a deep seed as to still be firmly rooted after years of therapy or mindfulness, then its manifestation will cause a sense of “But I identify myself this particular way, and so you cannot be a part of me. Your manifestation of unwholesomeness is bad for my goal of wellness or enlightenment.” Through the rejection of an unwholesome part of oneself, there is a rejection of learning, growth, and internal communication. If one could open to the possibility of “pain and neuroses contain[ing] their own color and hav[ing] their own strange beauty” as Wellwood sees it, one’s spiritual practice would become more fruitful and wholesome through embracing, honoring, and integrating the aspects of ourselves whose voice we’ve stolen by employing the three poisons.

If one could also recognize Engler’s idea of the constructed self, it may be possible to see the value that our relative experience has when cultivating no-self. To know no-self, one must first understand what we are deeming as self, and since self is constructed by one’s constant encounter with objects in the world, one must address those objects and any responses that also arise toward those objects in order to seek wellness and absolute wisdom. To bypass this aspect of our self would be to bypass wisdom, creating illusion, and ultimately leading to suffering though we have been diligent in our dedication to our spiritual practice.

The Drunken Monkey

     In Tantric Buddhism, every state of being is workable and every moment is an opening for practice, even the seemingly irreverent moments. Sometimes I imagine that my mind is a drunken monkey just stumbling around, hiccupping, and breaking things while drinking out of a moonshine jug. The closer it comes to the end of the year, the harder it becomes to focus on anything. The monkey in my mind just seems to get increasingly drunk, increasingly agitated rather than mellowed by his imbibing, and more adamant in its need for my attention. When tending to the drunken monkey of one’s mind, it takes a lot of focus and energy away from more productive endeavors. So, this week has been about sobering up my drunken monkey and trying to teach it to be self sufficient once sober.

     Sitting in meditation, the realization that the end of the year is so near seemed to grab me by the throat and choke me a little. Every turning of a season elicits the same response: fear, excitement, a sense of dread, and just a little panic while exploring some joyful anticipation of what's to come. Trying to meditate around those issues when my drunken monkey keeps sloshing around, waving its arms and trying to signal to me that there are so many other things I should be doing with this time, is a bit challenging. Trying to bring my focus back to the breath wasn’t working, so I started using visualizations that would alleviate the cause of my anxiety over time and aid me in accomplishing my work. If a thought or visual of me being frazzled and not accomplishing a task cropped up, I simply replaced it with the visual of my productivity and accomplishment. If a notion and vision of utter calamity or catastrophe popped up, I would go through the worst case scenario and realize that even the worst was still not quite so “bad,” then move on.

     Once I could get to place of rational understanding, it would become apparent that I would be able to survive even the worst case fallable, clumsy human scenario. However, I will admit that I am still attached to the idea of succeeding in my many endeavors. I’m not sure I want to challenge that attachment too vigorously just yet; that is one aspect of my mind I choose not to experiment with for now. I just want to voice that in my own mind, and in front of all of you, in case my Buddha nature happens to be listening and feeling playful.

The Social Artist

The capacity for creativity, in thought and action, is universal among human beings. Depending on many factors such as autonomy, political climate, economic status, and sustainable resources, this capacity may be honored and cultivated, or silenced and repressed. For those whose creative potential is yet to be realized, it is the responsibility of the Social Artist, as envisioned by Jean Houston, to embody the skill, tireless dedication, and unique vision of the artist in the social arena. Through mindful presence, the Social Artist seeks to provide a dynamic balance between inner understanding and outward expression within their community and as a global citizen. The realization of humanity’s potential is possible through the liberation of the “common” people by being present to the basic needs of society, and creating a greater sense of self-governance through the decentralization of resources and knowledge.

         In Art and Artist, Otto Rank asserts that “greatness consists precisely in this reaching out beyond themselves, beyond the ideology which they have themselves fostered.” Change does not need to be invasive or abrupt because transformation of consciousness can be as soft and simple as asking the right question. As Rank points out, if a person’s perspective can be broadened beyond the automatic acceptance of what they know to be true, a revolution of evolution toward the deliberate life participant, rather than the living autopilot, is set into motion. Rank believed that questions had the capacity to allow community members to step outside the prevailing paradigm and ideology, causing reflection on one’s beliefs and assumptions, leading to a shift in consciousness that reframes the knowledge they have acquired. Stepping outside the comfort zone of knowing is likened to the process of the artist in their struggle to shift their perceptions, to transform their view, to see the world in ways that neither they, nor others, have seen before. So too for the Social Artist as they revere the rich heritage of cultural norms while also striving to perceive the emergence of ontological innovation.

         Unleashing the unbridled capabilities for metamorphosis not only benefits those who participate in the endeavor, but also those whom one is in service to, and those who come into contact with the fruit of that labor. Removing obstacles that inhibit the integrity of inward experience being analogous to its outward expression can be as simple as asking “What do you need?” The Social Artist not only wishes to be of service to other’s needs, but seeks to develop a sustainable human development. This does not mean providing for others without question; it means that we provide others with tool and resources that will continue to aid them in our absence and create a strong sense of autonomy. For example, the Buddha has been dead for many years, but his teachings and principles to alleviate suffering still continue on as viable tools for transformation of one’s plight regardless of one’s religious affiliation or ethnic origin.

         Having worked with children to facilitate creative thinking, at a national non-profit organization, has presented me with the challenge of facilitating growth while following and imposing bureaucratic rules and regulations. Though daunting at first, I have realized that even just making one suggestion to one person can create a chain reaction of change and shifts in consciousness. Choosing to use “trash” as a main staple medium in my art room caused many of the children to start seeing the treasure in their so-called waste. An egg carton may actually be a caterpillar; a milk jug and some old newspapers may actually be a ceremonial mask from Uganda. It has also opened the doors of their perception to include “I can do art; I am creative,” rather than “I’m not an artist, so I’m not creative.” Then, having been able to guide them toward perceiving how they are creative in every choice they make throughout the day shows them that creativity is not just attributed to the arts. They are always creative, and never disempowered, because they have the capacity to choose how they will perceive and process their lives. Together, we are all in the process of igniting a strong sense of passion and social responsibility that has the potential to transform lives, in a positive way.

Workshop and Course Offerings

Hip-Gnosis: Developing, recognizing, & maintaining a positive self-image by exploring and honoring the divine femininity that is expressed through the beauty and diversity of our bodies.

Creative Movement For Children or Adults: Playful fitness through various traditions of dance & movement. You will explore fun fitness as we stretch, dance, and play our way through various traditions of wellness from around the globe!

Creative Arts Expression For Children or Adults: Every day is a new chance for self-discovery & expression. With the use of various art mediums, you will be guided through a new project each week that allows you to explore & authentically express yourself in an empowering & enriching environment.

Living Life R.A.W. (Ready And Willing): A workshop focused on removing excuses for why we do not utilize our gifts and talents, and implementing a plan to lead a more daring lifestyle of seizing the moment at hand by offering the best of our skills, talents, and interests in daily life. A normal day, may never seem mundane again!

Moving Through The Chakras: A course of action that honors, soothes, & exercises your mind, body, & spirit by paying particular attention to how our bodies are *trying* to communicate with us. We will implement creative writing/journaling, dream work, private food diary, intuitive movement, chanting and sound exercises, and theatrical dialogue.

Drawing Shadow From The Light: (Exclusively for Wise Woman's Network & Center of Symmetry)

Potential Gatherings: Gather together with your friends, and enjoy an evening of wine, women, art, and song! This is an expressive arts exploration! Gather together with various art modalities and receive guidance through group projects of your choice. Great for bridal showers, bachelorette parties, girls-night-out, and birthdays. We can come to you, or you can some see us; it's all about comfort, relaxation, and fun!

*Private sessions are available upon request. I do ask that at least 48 hours notice be given for private sessions as a courtesy.

Any questions you may have, feel free to call or e-mail me. I am very accessible and look forward to working with you!

Potentially Yours,
Brittany Fluman M.A.