We all have the potential to create greatness!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Attachment & Loving Presence in the Hakomi Method

Loving Presence is a state of mind which promotes secure attachment reactions that are the core for attaining and maintaining a healthfully emotional lifestyle. Even if someone has a maladaptive or self-limiting attachment style, such as Ambivalent, Disorganized, or Avoidant, Loving Presence provides whatever support the person may feel is absent from their implicit reality because of prior emotional or relational experiences. When we regard others while in a state of Loving Presence, we see them in a way that is nourishing for all parties involved. We honor them by seeking to view their good rather than dwell on negative aspects of self which may be present. Also, in perceiving positive or nourishing aspects of others we hold the space for our own good to arise and greet us. This way of perceiving creates connection through Limbic Resonance that may be felt by the other person, no matter how subtle, allowing them to experience that they are appreciated, respected, and even loved in a spiritual way.

When a person perceives Loving Presence their subconscious allows them to softly open to the possibility of receiving the kind of love and nourishment that they, in particular, are in need of. Each person’s needs are different, but this does not mean that we need to regard one person to the next in a different way other than to experience there uniquely nourishing qualities. Simply by being aware of their uniqueness do we open the space up for an expanded experience of their needs. Their inner wisdom guides them to the answer as we support their unique and nourishing qualities. When we can see others in their wholeness, and perceive the beauty of their humanity, we free them from the shackles of being defined by their traumas, negative experiences, and present state of unrest. By freeing others, we then free ourselves because their Loving Presence was brought to attention by our own; then everyone is limbically resonating in a state of Loving Presence.

So, how does Loving Presence feel to the recipient as well as the giver? For the giver, it is an emotional-heart centered approach to the perception and reception of the person. If you are perceiving and receiving with your feeling, sensing emotional-heart in a state of compassion or grace, then you are approaching each moment in a loving way. Thus, allowing experiences to surprise and inspire you with uniqueness. If you feel that sense of unknowing, that sense of wonder for things that normally you would have judged and categorized into a schema that you’ve already encountered, then you can be sure that you are having the full experience of who the other person is because you are regarding them as fresh individuals in a loving presence, rather than as former experiences of a schema’s stereotyping. Though the giver may now know what their own experience is, the experience of the recipient is very different. The recipient may not even be aware that they feel a loving resonance with the giver; the shift in their attitude or mood sometimes occurs without awareness of how or why. Sometimes it may be as simple as the recipient feeling welcome in the presence of the giver. Other times the presence of the giver may seem to tell the recipient “You are safe in my company. It is more than okay for you to express your authentic feelings here. We are on sacred ground because this is a space of non-judgment.” Often, when the recipient feels safe to express, emote, open, be, or give of themselves freely, they have encountered Loving Presence. This encounter open the recipient’s heart-space up to the ebb and flow or free interaction, leading them into their own state of Loving Presence so that they may then be transformed into the giver as they are also the receiver. Now the exchange of love and acceptance expands both people’s potential for authentic existence; Loving Presence is quite infectious.

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